Happy Valentine's Day - TO ME.

"Worry about loving yourself instead of loving the idea of other people loving you."

~Unknown

I spent most of my life trying to make myself worthy of love.

I showered those around me with as much love as I could muster, hoping beyond hope that they might love me back. And if they didn't, I never blamed them. After all, why would they love me and all the imperfection I knew lived inside of me? I felt helpless to change any of it and carried it with me like a red badge of rejection.

Today, I am living a completely different existence.

It's one that is based upon acceptance of myself and recognition of the power and responsibility I have over caring for me. I no longer rely on others to prove to me I am worth loving. I now base my understanding on the way I treat me. I sustain the person who is giving it all she has to be a good and kind human. A healthy human, inside and out.

So I want to encourage you today to wrap your arms around you before you do it to someone else.

Give yourself a good long squeeze and breathe into the embrace. It will not only make you feel fantastic, but it will make the next hug you give to another soul even more purposeful. It demonstrates to you that you are worthy of the love you receive and shows those you love that you have a healthy and robust place to love them from.

Loving yourself is the beginning of being able to truly love others. 

Give it a try.

Be true to you. 

Be Yours.

Cheers.

Are you holding yourself back?

Stop holding yourself back. Haven't enough people tried that and failed?

~Me

Have you ever heard yourself say, "Geez, I need to get started on this."

It's the song of a heart that is filled with dreams that have been stored but never started. A myriad of excuses, a list full of great reasons, but a mind filled with 'why not's'... In my seasoned aged, I understand that there are some very functional reasons behind what is stopping us, and it's that person staring at you in the mirror. Yup, it's you...

Perhaps it's time to say, "It IS about YOU."

Take a look at a short list I created that might touch on some of the ways you can stop being that thing that is holding yourself back:

1. Change your attitude to reflect what you want to become.
Your attitude will either move you forward or backward. It’s significantly affected by what you believe since what you think determines the decisions you make. Your beliefs mainly stem from your past - what people said and did to you and what you concluded those experiences meant to you. Become aware of what people told you when you were a child and ask yourself if those statements were actually true. Study your accomplishments and your environment, go over what you have done so far and see if they align with the accused comments.

2. You know more than you think.
Stop selling yourself short by saying, “I don’t know” and instead say, “I will figure it out,” and ask yourself “How can I do this better?” You can ask for help and connect yourself to the right resources as part of your self-development journey so you can become more, know more, and prepare for the challenges ahead.

3. Do not allow defeat to win over triumph.
There are two kinds of memory banks. One is “Defeat,” and the other is “Triumph.” In the first you store all your memories of things you believe you haven’t done well; in the second, memories of times when you’ve succeeded. Everything you’ve ever experienced lives in one of these memory banks, which you will withdraw from in the future to inform your decisions. Your choice will educate your habits and behavior, which ultimately dictate your success and happiness.

4. Embrace mistakes as teachers.
Don’t be too hard on yourself. Mistakes are part of life. I have learned to love them. Though I don’t look to make mistakes often, they are my teachers in growth and self-improvement. If you really want something, you have to be prepared to seize opportunities, work hard for it, and never give up.

You have the power to overcome the limiting beliefs that stop you from realizing your full potential and creating happiness. 

It starts with the choice to stop giving them power and start seizing new opportunities.

Of course, that doesn’t mean you should never quit anything. You need to set goals that align with your values.

If your values change along the way, as we all know may happen as we get older, it is okay to give them up and embark on a new journey.

Cheers.

Remaining Open To Transformation - At Any Age.

“We are all faced with a series of great opportunities brilliantly disguised as impossible situations.” ~Charles R. Swindoll

Ever noticed a chrysalis hidden within its cocoon? The final few moments before it emerges as a butterfly compose what science terms as metamorphosis, a transformation.

What is inside has to struggle quite a bit before it gets all the attention for being the magnificent creature it is. It’s long and painful. However, while watching it, you may be tempted to clip off the outer covering of the chrysalis with a pair of scissors. And you might do it, thinking you’re doing it a favor. But when it finally emerges, you’d be sorely disappointed. On the other hand, if you can muster up the patience to watch this metamorphosis take place, without any intervention from your side, you’ll see one of the most beautiful miracles of nature, and one of life’s best lessons.

Our lives are journeys to this same type of metamorphosis, to find a sense of purpose in life. 

Each one of us has had to let go of a dream, compromise, and experience pain and the entire gamut of emotions that an undesirable change can bring. But by no means did it ever spell the end of all dreams.

Every lousy experience, painful relationship, and compromise you’ve ever made in good conscience will somehow transform into a beautiful inner reservoir of spiritual gifts and blessings. Change is hard, but a transformation is painful at many points of the process.

I think life wants you to take notice of three things when you’re going through a difficult time that may seem eternal:

Trust life. There’s a higher purpose behind every seemingly impossible and challenging phase. You’ve just got to hang in there and know that it’s for the best.

Change. If you find yourself feeling crummy a lot more often than not, take time out to reflect on whether or not you’re happy deep down with what you’re doing.

Believe. Believe in yourself, even if the world around you doesn’t. If you don’t, who will?

Hold onto what you believe in. You’re meant to emerge as a beautiful butterfly from your chrysalis. Always remember that, with a smile, and give yourself a chance to entirely transform.

Cheers.