When it's time for a Summit...

"Come, let’s talk this over, no matter how deep the stain of your sins, I can take it out and make you as clean as freshly fallen snow. Even if you are stained as red as crimson, I can make you white as wool!"

~Isaiah

Even the best and closest of friends need to get together for a chat from time to time...

Well, chat is a light way of the real essence of my meaning here. We might 'talk' every day, but it's not often that we dig deeply into our thoughts and conversational skills and share. These are rarer times, and it is a good thing that they are special. You don't want them to become so commonplace that they lose their definition of importance. These are times that are set apart and planned - they are difficult to create on the fly. They are called 'Summits' in the world of business and politics. And there's a good reason. 

Much like the mountain top version, they are to be lofty and a place that has to be worked at to achieve.

You do not summit with just anyone. These people are critical to you. Your interactions with them, while oft taken for granted, work together toward an important purpose. And while you may silently know what that purpose is, if it is not spoken at some point, our unified directions my take wrong turns. A summit meeting gets you there together for a time, and it will not matter how you get there. 

Summits are made to clear the air.

We call them such because the air is thinner and easier to control on a summit. There are fewer obstacles and distractions. We can work out confusion and the tense muscles that can surround our significant relationships at times. We can find agreement again, or find a way to walk together in disagreement. 

We can reason together.

Come to understanding.

Perpetuate compassion.

Cheers. 

A View From the Top

"The Summit is what drives us, but it is the path that matters."

~Conrad Anker

I reached a summit recently, and it feels pretty awesome.

But true to my personality and what drives me, I immediately began to muse about how I could put a joyous perspective on what to do with these feelings. I realized that the older I get, the more it becomes apparent that life isn't filled with Summits. In fact, most of what life is about are the climbing parts - or the sitting and resting - or the falling and sliding. So being on a Summit is a rarer thing that I had believed it would be when I was oh, say, 35ish. And entirely different from what I imagined at 25ish. Astoundingly disproportionate from my views at 18ish. 

Reaching the Summit and the efforts to get there becomes a chapter in your life, not a page.

The pieces of the journey that helped move you forward and upward require many paragraphs and pages sometime. Thoughts that must be formulated, edited and completed before submission. You have to muster the courage to share your vision of the Summit with others, never knowing if they might smirk at you and urge you to turn back. Or perhaps, convince you that you are on the wrong path at the wrong time. All those pages and paragraphs for nothing....

Ah, but sometimes, you get there, and while the air is a little thinner, you breathe it in deeply.

You take a moment to enjoy the view and rest your weary bones. Plant your flag so others know you were there. If you are fortunate enough to have co-travelers, perhaps you dance around a bit with them, discuss the journey and toast to the finish. But it isn't long before you realize you can't stay there. The air is too thin, and there's not enough to sustain you for very long. You don't want to get heady and topple over. It's time to move on.

Look, there's a new path. 

And another Summit ahead...

Hmmm...What's next?

Cheers.

Don't forget what you might regret...

If God treats you well by teaching you a disastrous lesson, you never forget it. 

~Ray Bradbury

I was walking along behind Eddy one morning feeling exceptionally light...

It was as though I understood the meaning of 'walking on air.' Were my feet hitting the ground? I had to laugh as I looked down and saw legs that we were far more toned and muscular than they had been a couple of years ago. And I no longer felt like each day was a challenging struggle to remain focused and committed to getting my health in order. I thought of a conversation I had just had with a son, who had also just emerged from a difficult struggle. I remembered telling him, "Never forget where you were. Don't allow the great feelings of now to diminish the lessons learned. That's how we end up back where we started again..."

It's not that there is nothing worth forgetting and leaving behind.  It's just the stuff we don't want to be regretting...again. 

So how do you know what you need to lose in the land of forgotten memories and what should come along for the ride? It comes down to two things for me: 

1) I will forget anything that causes me to feel ashamed. Shame is a vile thing that prevents growth and keeps you in bondage to habits and attitudes that destroy. So, if something attached to your past causes you that feeling, it needs to be forgotten. Permanently. 

2) I will forget anything that makes me fearful. Fear is a detriment to confidence and security. You can't feel safe if you are afraid - it just won't jive. Lessons can be scary, no doubt about it. But the fear that you will fail again in a moment of weakness is just irrational. Forget that fear. Forever.

In short, all lessons you carry forward have to be tested and tried.

It takes some time to know what is worth keeping and what needs to be forgotten. We want so badly to know instantly and have the recipe for success, but the greatest lessons are the lifelong ones. See them as gifts, not curses. 

Keep hitting the nail on the head.

Keep adjusting your sails.

Keep remembering what you've learned.

Cheers. 

What do you "get" from forgetting?

"Do not let the shadows of your past darken the doorstep of your present and future."

~Suman Rai

Right before the anniversary of 9/11, we are flooded with messages telling us to 'never forget.' 

And this year, these words made me consider the subject of 'forgetting.'  The action of forgetting is sometimes out of our control. We get older, or maybe we have an illness or emotional issue, and we forget events and facts we once held dear. At other times, it is a willful action at requires lots of practice to forget truly. It's like a lit candle that even after being blown out leaves behind the waxy memory. 

Yes, forgetting can be hard, but it is often the beginning of some great things. 

The deepest hurts and time of turmoil are lessened by our ability to forget. When we can carry on as though something never happened, we find a freedom that allows us to rise above the potential devastation. When you wake up one day and realize that something which once hindered you no longer holds power in your memory, there's desire to chuckle audibly. You get a sense of victory. Complete domination over an ugliness that tried to smother your joy.

And you can forget without giving up your lessoned learned.

I think that is what the message of 'never forget' is in the photos I see from 9/11. We can rise above past pain, and it's devastation without finding ourselves falling victim to it again. Because utmostly, what we get from forgetting, is a strength. 

Resiliency.

Fortitude.

Find your way to forgetting, wisely.

Cheers. 

When you just have to ask....

“It’s not the load that breaks you down; it’s the way you carry it.”

 -Lena Horne

We often think that admitting struggle is a sign of weakness, but we all struggle sometimes. 

We all get overwhelmed sometimes. We all need help sometimes. Acknowledging this is not a sign of weakness, but fighting alone is a choice to grow weak. Because we all need each other. No one is an island. The good news is that people do care. How do you know? Because it's what you do.

Think about it. If someone you know was hurting, would you offer your support? If someone you know got into a desperate situation, would you help them find a solution? You would want them to come to you - to know that you care, and they can trust and depend on you.

Why not give them the opportunity to do the same for you? 

There is no need to push yourself to your breaking point when there are people who’d be honored to help lighten your load. Just as you would willingly do for them. It's wonderful when you have a friend who 'just seems to know' that you need support, but most of those who love us are not clairvoyants. We are all wrapped up in the busyness of life, and we miss what's going on in others. It can be uncomfortable to ask or mention at first, especially when you are one of those self-sufficient masters of your universe. Just remember that you are providing a gift, not a burden, to one who appreciates and loves you.


If you’re carrying more than you can handle today, choose to let some of it go by letting someone else in. 

Wouldn’t the world be a better place if we all learned to depend on each other?

Sometimes, you just gotta ask.

Cheers.

Getting by with a little help...

"Accept me at my strongest, support me at my weakest." 

~Unknown

I found a quote this morning about praising bridges...

Not just any bridges, but the ones who carried you to where you are today. It made me smile as I considered the humans who have done so much for me, both in quiet and loud ways, to give me the strength to rise another day. While I consider myself to be quite independent and self-sufficient, I'd be kidding myself if I thought I am capable of going it completely alone. Sure, people can be cumbersome and get in the way, but the ones who are our 'bridges' - those who get us over troubled waters - they seem to know how to mold themselves into our lives.

And I think that is an action that takes practice to be fulfilled with precision.

Like a parent walked behind a toddler learning to walk, it's tempting to want to reach in a grab someone's hand when they look like they are toppling over. But that's not how they are going to grow stronger and learn, is it? In fact, it's when they are full of courage and trying to get by in new territory that they are really at their strongest. That's when they need our acceptance and praise, not our guidance and concerns.

Knowing just the time when they need us to support them can be risky.

The people I appreciate the most are the ones who just seem to know when I need support. And the times I feel the most satisfied with my supportive outcomes are when I am told, "Wow, how did you know?" It's not a psychic phenomenon or a spiritual gift. It's the action of thinking about others and looking at the world that surrounds you. Considering others before yourself. 

Being a fountain, not a drain.

Looking to be a bridge, not a crevasse. 

Finding ways to help without hindering growth.

Cheers. 

Growth in the Discomfort Zone.

“Comfort zones are most often expanded through discomfort.” 

~Peter McWilliams

When everything is clicking in our lives, we like to say; we are 'in the zone'...

It's our place where we can thrive and feel alive because we know it so well. It's not just any zone; it's our 'comfort zone'. A place we never want to leave or be far from. You can be confident that you will not be called upon to do anything dramatic there. It's full of expectations and time for you to shine. And there's certainly not going to be any distortions or stretching there.

And you can tell when you've been in that place for too long. 

It becomes painfully apparent when you are cruising along, and all the sudden, you find yourself in one of your pet peeve uncomfortable situations. Perhaps for you, it's a group of people you don't know who are more knowledgeable about something you'd like to learn more about. You want to ask a question, but the discomfort of sounding unintelligent stops you in your tracks. Or you are invited to stand in front of a group to give a few words about something. You would love to do it, but all you can think of is how nervous you are, and how worried you would sound. Or a relationship you've been accepting becomes toxic.

When we feel an emotion like discomfort, it’s natural to want to push it away and avoid it.

Perhaps it's time to ease into a stretch. Even when you are in the comfort zone, you have to take a chance to stretch, or you find yourself unprepared for the challenging discomfort zones. The stretch comes when you allow yourself to consider the uncomfortable and feel it. Instead of rejecting the gnarly feelings, you accept them. This stretching doesn't require jumping right in with both feet. Fools rush in and end up with pulled muscles. Now you are injured, and certainly not going to try THAT again...

Just a gentle twist. A slow bend. An easy, deep breath in, then out. 

Stretching prepares us to be more comfortable with discomfort. 

Then you can face the situation that is causing it. 

Cheers.