Family Ties: Binders, Grinders, and Finders

All happy families are alike; each unhappy family is unhappy in its own way.

~Leo Tolstoy

The word 'family' draws many different meanings and emotions.

You certainly didn’t ask for them, and you can’t trade them, but out of the billions of human beings on our planet, they’re the ones who believe they know you best. Stronger emotions are linking you than in many other relationships in your life - whether they’re your biological family or otherwise.

Even though easy to forget or ignore at times, a family is the most important thing in the world. This could mean your mother, your father, your siblings, your spouse, your grandparents, your aunts, your uncles, your cousins, your in-laws – but for some, they are simply those with whom we share unconditional love.

They come in many different shapes and sizes, and the ties to them have unique functions.

Of course, families are complicated – these deep relationships can carry lots of baggage and hurt as well. Given their complexity and importance in our loves, its no wonder that throughout the course of history, people from all walks of life have pondered the complexities and conundrums of familial love. This week, I decided to add my name to the long list.

I have been given some great examples recently of the different functions of the family tie. Not all of them started out as lovely, but their origins can be modified, loosened or tightened, as they progress.

And that's because individual humans are involved, and they all react differently to being 'tied' to another person.

I've grouped them into 'binders', 'grinders' and 'finders'. Each type requires a certain reaction at times. It might be a need for heightened responsibility, or perhaps it is time to cut and walk away. And still again, it might be a gift that you find is more significant than anything else you have in your life. They are a relationship that you come to realize you simply cannot live without.

Regardless, they are all very real, even if they can't be seen by the naked eye.

And the more you tug at them, the greater the risk for injury.

Cheers.