Fear and the 'knowing' of the 'known'.

"We can easily forgive a child who is afraid of the dark; the real tragedy of life is when men are afraid of the light."

~Plato

Today, I will go see my oldest Grandson off to his first day of school.

This year, he will have the added caveat of going to a new school. I will have the fortunate task of adding many memories, and I am grateful for this. But I will also have the experience of reliving some other memories, many not so nice. Memories of being just his age and starting yet another new school. I was on my 3rd school by 4th Grade, and I wasn't afraid that day of the unknown. In fact, I remember hoping for new and surprising stuff to happen. My imagination kept me hopeful of the nicest teacher, an excellent bus filled with kids who wanted to know me, and even that I would meet a forever friend. But in my mind and the pit of my stomach was filled with a fear buoyed by what I knew: I knew I would be stared at. I knew I would have to figure out where to go for everything on my own. I knew no one would want to sit by me. I knew it would be hard. 

The fear of the unknown is rational, even typical. It rarely stops us from what we want to do.

But the fear of the knowns - the experiences we've had that potentially might play out again - now those can be real suffocations of growth. Fear of failing again. Fear of being hurt again. Fear of rejection again. Again, it's the word that embodies some pretty terrible fears, isn't it? But as the wise one, Plato, says above, it's a tragedy when we allow ourselves to be afraid of the light - afraid of what we know. 

Because what we know can be addressed from a place of knowledge.

And with knowledge comes power. That's what I finally figured out by the time I entered High School, my 7th different school, with a whole new set of people. Yes, all that stuff I knew when I entered the 4th grade at Union School was still true, but I now knew how to handle it differently. I didn't have to make sweeping changes - sometimes, though, we do. I just made small adjustments, and mostly - I stopped being so afraid.  I used my understanding to find others who were eating lunch alone or standing by themselves in P.E. I made forever friends.

So today, I will encourage my grandson not to be afraid of what he knows, but to use it to find a new strength inside. To learn from the newness, and embrace the traditional. Again.

There is power in what we know.

Let go of the fear.

Cheers.