It Might Be Time To Get Out Of Your Own Way.

“I wish I could show you, when you are lonely or in darkness, 

the astonishing light of your own being.” 

~Hafiz of Shiraz

I have been on a quest to be happy for as long as I can remember.

Perhaps you are like me. You looked everywhere - relationships, work, spirituality - but nothing stuck. It was like putting on a chapstick over dried out and cracked lips. The relief was temporary, then the agitation that lived under the smile was back.

I knew there had to be more, and I want to tell you that I found it when I learned to get out of the way.

Without realizing it, I had been caught up in habitual ways of thinking and feeling that dominated my everyday life. My mind went on endlessly with judgments, expectations, worries, resentments, and stories about what should and shouldn't happen. And I had overlooked the feelings of fear and uneasiness that were running beneath the surface almost nonstop. Life was happening, but with a constant inner commentary about how things weren't quite right. No wonder I wasn't happy.

Fast forward to now, and things are very different. 

No more useless worrying, regret, or getting caught in mental stories about other people or myself. Even my body has relaxed without that lurking agitation.
And here's what I discovered:

Getting out of the way means becoming very familiar with your inner world. 

You discover what you do that makes you suffer so you can choose peace instead.

Amazingly, you realize that you can press pause in any moment and step back from the momentum of old, recycled habits. Take time to reconsider.

When you do, you see what is actually happening: the pain of being stuck in an old resentment that has been dragging you down, and the chaos that comes from letting your feelings rule.

With your eyes wide open, you are primed to live in intelligent ways, affirming, and aligned with your deepest desires.

Finally, clarity arrives.

Cheers.

Remember, Circumstances Are Temporary Things.

"Where you are is not who you are. Yours truly, Circumstances."

~Me

Does anyone else dread getting back to work after missing a few days?

It's great to have a break, but the work goes on, and you have to come back to catch up. I noticed this week after returning from a day off that I had a cloud hanging over me for much of the day. It began with the very first email I received and grew darker around lunchtime. I found myself feeling a little frantic and disconcerted. Would I really be able to accomplish what was needed to right this queasy feeling in the pit of my stomach?

And then, I had a meltdown on my husband over a silly comment regarding my driving...

I stomped into the sandwich shop ahead of him and encountered a long line. Of course. I found myself saying in my head, "Geez, what a lame set of circumstances I'm encountering today!" And then it hit me, as insight often does if we are listening. These clouds, these circumstances, were just temporary. Whether by the passing of time or the expression of action, they would soon be gone. 

Circumstances are not 'life sentences,' they are punctuation marks. 

Our circumstances are like a comma or a semi-colon, or even an exclamation mark - placed in our lives due to a change in direction of some kind. They are intentioned to get our attention, and they will whether we like it or not. 

The key, as always, is how we respond.

Do we roll up into a ball and wait for the storm to pass? 

Do we tense up our shoulders and grit our teeth?

Or, do we acknowledge them, deal with them, and wave goodbye?

Cheers. 

Let Your Inner Dancer Become Your Dance!

“What you think of yourself is much more important than what people think of you.”

 ~Seneca

I can still remember it like it happened yesterday.

There I was. Ten years old. It was my first day back at a new school. My 4th in my young life.

I walked past the gate that marked the entrance to the school compound. I passed under this massive tree as it towered over me. I was in a crowd of other screaming school kids. They laughed and cackled loudly. It was cold, and yet I was dressed in a short-sleeved dress and black 'go-go' boots.

Me? I just felt overwhelmed. See, I was always an anxious kid. Scared. Worried that I would not be successful at this new school. If I struggled and had trouble, that would only add to the tension and disruption in my home. I had to make it, and help my parents find a reason to be happy. That was the world I lived in.

For many years, my obligation to make others happy tainted my vision like prison bars that impose a life sentence on inmates who have long forgotten the bars even exist. Thankfully, people were put in my path who told me I could be more. They told me I deserved to be free, and confident in my abilities.

But there was a process to becoming the self-confident human I am today. I had to lose the self-consciousness that stopped me from finding the rhythm of my life and dancing to it. I had to....

Let the dancer become the dance.

Do you ever feel disconnected from what you’re doing because of that little voice telling you that you're not good enough? Does your mental chatter derail your sincere efforts? If so, you’re not alone. We all experience this from time to time. I think I've found part of the solution to this constricting behavior.

Make a decision to lose yourself completely in your work and in the moments of your life. Get so absorbed in it that you enter a state of flow. Let the dancer become the dance. Become the subject of your bigger picture, not a just small segment of your story.

When the dancer becomes the dance, there is no dancer. It's just a lovely performance. Therefore, there is no one to suffer from lack of confidence. No one to draw the attention to themselves and their difference.

There’s just the dance. The flow.

It's not blending in and becoming unseen.

It's finding how you are vital to all that surrounds you.

Cheers.