Controlling the World by Defining How it Sees You....

"In the social jungle of human existence, there is no feeling of 

being alive without a sense of identity."

~Erik Erikson

I remember a time in history when everyone's true nature eventually caught up with them...

Even if it was only your friends or neighbors who got a glimpse of it. We lived in an age when you couldn't exist in your house behind a screen forever. Even the hermit had to get a grocery delivery and interact with a human. We went to school, to work and social events at least once a day. Our interactions defined us, and people formed a set of opinions about who we were from those. They didn't have a 'list' of our friends, but they knew who they were when they saw us together. Our class picture was completely unedited, and rather harsh at times, but it was the true us. Sometimes, their views attempted to tell us who we were. Some people gave in, others of us fought back.

But it was hard to control how you were perceived by others.

It was essential to demonstrate real effort and expose a real plan or goal. It wasn't enough to say you would do something - people expected results. As I thought about the different aspects of this week's focus on control, I found an interesting perspective in seeing how much easier it is to hide behind virtual reality from the world - and ultimately define your personality and character via HTML. Even those closest to you are often left in the dark.

Ah but there's a cost. As Erikson says above, you can't feel life without a real sense of identity.

You need those outside of your ability to control the view in your life. Especially when we are in the midst of a crisis or stressful time. Not only will they keep you grounded and honest, but they are essential to helping you find your way back to who you are. Times of hardship, loss and pain change us in broad ways, but the essence of our identity remains the same. 

Keep your circle of knowledge tight if you must, but don't control what they see. They are the ones that need to see outside of the edited sharing and selfies.

They most likely suspect it already.

Feeling 'life' is about being flat on your face at times and feeling the wind in your hair at others.

In all of these moments, we need our sense of identity to bring us back into a healthy place of control. 

With a little help from our social jungle.

Cheers.