"Do you wish to be great? Then begin by being. Do you desire to construct a vast and lofty fabric? Think first about the foundations of humility. The higher your structure is to be; the deeper must be its foundation."
~Saint Augustine
For the better part of 5 years, I knew I needed to make a change...
I remember looking at pictures from my son's wedding and taking a deep gulp. How had I allowed myself to become this overweight? More than just the increase in my size, I also knew I was beginning to feel the physical effects. My joints hurt, and felt out of breath when trying to climb stairs, and I had high blood pressure. It wasn't like I'd never been this size. My life was a virtual ping pong game of weight loss and weight gain. The last time I had worked on 'losing weight', I was doing it with the support of my son who had just joined the Army. We were encouraging each other. I was so excited for him to come home before his deployment so he could see how great I looked.
But he didn't make it home.
So the next seven years found me excusing the need to stay healthy. Why try? We are all going to die someday. Why waste my time when I knew there was a high probability that I would only fail again and be right back where I started?
The reality is there aren’t any guarantees. Every decision to change carries no certainty with it.
Certainty is an illusion that comes from comfort and security, but just because something’s comfortable, or we are secure in our 'plan', that doesn’t mean it’s permanent. I knew this, and knew it well, so I continued to cling to what I knew was safe, albeit unhealthy. The excuses that come from our fear of the uncertain outcomes can be overwhelmingly powerful. We will even mask them behind feigned self-acceptance or self-amusement. We are fine, we say to the world, just like we are.
We can either cling to what feels safe, avoiding potential disappointment, or realize the worst disappointment is the type we have in ourselves.
When it finally comes to a head, and you can't quiet the feelings of frustration and anger in what you've allowed yourself to avoid, you are left with a decision. Not a decision to change or not to change. That's further down the road. The first decision is to admit you are preventing yourself from realizing your full potential. Your calling.That’s what happens when we ignore our calling; we may feel more secure for not taking a risk, but we also feel unhappy with ourselves for not finding the courage to do it. For me, the weight was but one symptom of what was stopping me from realizing my calling. I needed a complete healing. That was the 'right' decision for me.
That’s what it means to make the “right” decision. To do what feels right, right at this moment, the only one that’s guaranteed.
The guarantee was that my desire for healing to realize my calling was stronger than my excuses. It also didn't carry a timeline or a goal. Healing from the inside out might take a lifetime. And I was ready for however long that would be.
Let your past become the impetus for why you are an expert, not a failure.
We can’t ever know what the results our efforts will be, but we can know we dramatically increase our odds of achieving our desires if we make it a priority to do what we know is right, no matter where it leads us. One step at a time. Each day a new beginning, and the continuation of a journey to your calling - your highest desire.
Look past the probable excuses.
Cheers.
No comments:
Post a Comment