If you know the enemy and know yourself you need not fear the results of a hundred battles.
~Sun Tzu
While the drama and turmoil of this year’s Presidential election continue to persist around our country, as a Mother, I am only concerned with one smallish community.
They are my big, blended and diverse family who share genetics, history and most of all a passion for an opinion. I have watched this past year as the events of the 2016 election have twisted and turned our adult children, and us as well. And now, with the results in and the dust still far from settled, just like much of the country, our family represents the divided electorate.
While I am certain we are not unique, I do think we are distinct in the variety of stories we will bring together this holiday season.
My husband and I, one Republican and one Independent, are both rather conservative. While neither of our initial choices was on the ballot, we did not consider Hillary Clinton as an option. So much so that I cast a vote for Bernie Sanders in the Primary, still far from ready to vote for Donald J. Trump. It was not until our 3rd Trump sign (put up by my husband) was stolen from our yard, along with several America flags, that I turned the corner and decided to vote for Trump. I felt indignant and as though my right to voice my opinion was being minimalized. I believe many other voters like me may have finally decided to vote for Trump for these very feelings: Tired of being minimalized and the attempts to take away our voice.
Our children, on the other hand, were quite certain for a long time who they would support.
Several of them did so quite vociferously and made it the central theme of their lives. Our LGBTQ child attended rallies and posted passionately on social media. Our grandson’s mother went to work in another state for several weeks on behalf of the Trump campaign. Another one of our children left their family for several days before the election to do the same, but in the name of the Clinton campaign. Still another of our children is married into a family of a Police officer in a large city, and their fear for his life with the civil unrest toward officers made them reliable Trump supporters. One of our son's just decided to do a lot of praying, asking God to guide our country during this tumultuous time. As a group of 14, we are split right down the middle.
Can you believe that? I am still shaking my head at how aligned we are with the country around us.
Somehow, after that fateful night that none of us (except my Data Scientist son) saw coming, we are all still family, and we love each other. I'm not going to kid you - Thanksgiving was hard. I was grateful when a few of the group didn't interact with each other directly. My husband and I went into the long weekend figuring we could take it. We see ourselves kind of like Cubs fans: We have lost so much we can handle it. But even we were not prepared for the fallout of dealing with shocked supporters of Hillary Clinton. We huddled, and realized there was really nothing we could say. They would just have to get through it.
There have been some hurtful things said. At times, as though those of us who voted for Trump were like the Ghost of Elections Past, watching in the background, unseen and quiet. But we will get through it. I like to believe it’s because we've encouraged our children to think for themselves, but still, have respect for the opinions of others. We know we are not the enemy and they are not ours. And we know ourselves. We can get through these battles and much more to come.
Yes, there is fear in some members of our family over what the future might bring. Very real concern. Fears that I want to take from them, but I also want them to grow through them.
I hope my husband and I can quell much of their fear with the ongoing assurance that no one will step on the rights of those around us... Especially those we call family.
Unless they go through us first. And our children have made us pretty tough to get through....
Cheers.
There have been some hurtful things said. At times, as though those of us who voted for Trump were like the Ghost of Elections Past, watching in the background, unseen and quiet. But we will get through it. I like to believe it’s because we've encouraged our children to think for themselves, but still, have respect for the opinions of others. We know we are not the enemy and they are not ours. And we know ourselves. We can get through these battles and much more to come.
Yes, there is fear in some members of our family over what the future might bring. Very real concern. Fears that I want to take from them, but I also want them to grow through them.
I hope my husband and I can quell much of their fear with the ongoing assurance that no one will step on the rights of those around us... Especially those we call family.
Unless they go through us first. And our children have made us pretty tough to get through....
Cheers.
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