Where will your resolve come from? Love or Fear?

“Stop trying to ‘fix’ yourself; you’re not broken! 

You are perfectly imperfect and powerful beyond measure.” 

~Steve Maraboli

This time of year can find people seeking help to increase their confidence or decrease self-doubt, or doing anything else for their own personal growth. 

We make resolutions often based on one of the following statements:

“I need fixing,”
“There really is something wrong with me,” or
“If I loved myself enough I would/would not (fill in the blank).”

If you connect with what I’m saying, then I’m here to tell you that none of that is true! How do I know? Because I used to carry those same beliefs. 

So I ask you, why do you seek personal growth? Your answer will determine your outcome.

There are two motivators as to why people seek personal growth: love and fear.

When you look for personal growth from a place of love, your relationship with yourself changes. No matter how many mistakes or wrong turns you feel you have made, you are willing to use those as learning opportunities, not as a reason to judge, criticize, or blame yourself. You acknowledge that you are doing the best you can with whatever life throws at you. You are there for yourself with acceptance, understanding, and forgiveness. 

As a result, true growth happens.

When you approach self-help from a place of fear, you believe that you or your life is lacking in some way. You hang on to the hope that if you just get the right self-help book, or sign up for that life-changing workshop, retreat, or program, that uncomfortable feeling will go away and all will be well again.

If you hang on to this belief, that is not personal growth.

This is looking outside of yourself for happiness, self-acceptance, or inner peace, or to bring security, guarantees, or the love you desire.

It’s a temporary fix. It will continually leave you feeling unfilled and in a cycle of looking for the next best thing to fill you up, creating more fear within you because you are not getting the long-lasting results you want. 

Will your resolutions come from a place of love or a place of fear?

Know that nothing or no one can validate you, because you are already valid.

There is no “fixing” that needs to be done, nor are you “flawed” for seeking help and guidance. Being resolved just means that you are ready to experience yourself and your life in a new way, because what you’re doing is no longer working.

Be resolved.

Cheers.